torstai 9. huhtikuuta 2015

Creative Tuesday: Happy (journey of becoming whole)

Hello blogging world!

Above you can see the artworks I did for Teemakuu march theme that was mixed media

Creative Tuesday new theme is happy. 
My moods have been up and down lately.
 I recommend you to read my previous post here and return so you'll get the bigger picture.

In my previous post I wrote about my bad bullying experiences and mental violence that exist in the school world.  
I was asked how I overcame from the bad experiences so this blog post is about  my journey becoming whole and finding balance and happiness.

Mental violence causes shame

There is three kinds of shame

Why - shame

Why that person doesn't like me? Why that person treats others equally but not me? 
Why- shame causes low-self confidence.

There is hidden shame

Person is shamed of some features in his/herself and learns to hide them. Person builds a wall around them and wears a mask so to speak. This kind of shame is often related to fear. One fears to reveal things from themselves.

There is forbidden shame

People who deny the feelings of shame. If  in the growing or working environment showing one's feelings or weaknesses aren't allowed to show person easily becomes self-adsorbed and it's difficult to find flaws in oneself.

Conscience is persons inner experience. Both feelings and knowledge.
Feeling guilt is different than feeling shame.
Feeling guilt means ability to regret things.

We all feel guilt and shame at some points in our lives.
That school violence and indifferent behavior of the teachers was forbidden subject to speak about in my previous school has made it very difficult for me to handle all these issues. I don't wish those people to think they are bad persons but I do hope that instead of denying the problems people would be brave and talk about them openly and try to find solutions. Indifferent behavior only makes things worse.

Here is my newest painting called "Guidance"

(c) Niina Niskanen

My guidance are my intuition and my conscience. 
After understanding that I don't need to feel shame for my own vulnerability and sensitivity.  I've been able to become whole and for that I'm happy and grateful.

Also submitting to Paint Party Friday

Love light and creativity to you all

28 kommenttia:

  1. Fear is a dangerous power...
    I'm happy you're happier now!!!
    Blue is good color for guidance...

    1. Thank you from your comment. Fear is dangerous weapon indeed

  2. I love your swan. It is so light and watery and I love have you didn't need a lot of specific details to create such a beautiful scene.

  3. Love this newest painting. . .so positive. I too have had bad experiences. The bully in my last job (before I retired) got away with it because she knew where the bodies were buried (not literally). You can never know what another person is going through and the reason they are acting like they do. But they have stories and issues to deal with also which have nothing to do with you. Therefore, I never take anything personally now that I know that. You are not alone. Blessings, Janet PPF

    1. Thank you from your comment. That's all very true what you are writing. I believe some of those teachers had even more "mental weight" than me but instead of facing them they just poured them to the students. Results: everyone suffers. I'm glad I spoke my mind.

  4. great expression of thoughts and energy Niina. I love the beauty and tranquil quality of your beautiful swan painting!

    1. Thank you so much Linda. I actually filmed painting process of this artwork. I'm making some painting videos to YouTube.

  5. i luv the piece called Guidance; lovely colour

    have a nice PPF

    much love...

  6. Wonderfully written Niina I'm so glad you were able to pass this and become whole xoxo

  7. Oh, I know what you are talking about. The shame and inconfidence still hit me sometimes, but all experiences have made me to who I am now and the have made me very sensitive to other peoples moods...I love to see your swan as a guidance. Good work!
    Have a creative Sunday - Irma

  8. love the colors and inspiration for Guidance. Happy PPF

  9. I guess making art and talking about your experience will somehow make it a little better, I hope you are feeling better.

    have a lovely day.

  10. Niina, your mixed media for March shows how creative you are. And I love your swan and the way it glides through the water. :-)

  11. This is a beautiful happy painting...all the best in your journey to peace.

  12. Niina,
    That is startling alive - with movement and joy. What a wonderful painting. May you continue to grow and understand that you have a wonderful gift. May you find friends that will encourage you and remember we don't need to listen to those who put us down.

  13. A gorgeous swan Niina! Lovely colours with a beautiful loose style.

  14. This is a beautiful painting, Niina, and I'm sure it does indeed bring you some happiness. Good to hear that you are becoming whole, as you say. thank you for your post, for the link and being real. For anyone else reading this comment, I would strong encourage you to read Niina's previous post linked above. It does give a bigger picture as you also noted.

    There are many kinds of shame, for sure and to live there serves no one. While, yes, we can feel bad about something in the past, we can't dwell there. We have to learn to forgive ourselves to as much as others I think. Ultimately, for me at least, it is in my faith in God's forgiveness that helps me know that all of us need it, all of us struggle and all of us can give it to others too. WE are WORTHY as are YOU Niina, whole or even broken--you are worthy. Wishing you the best in this journey forward and, again, thank you for being a part of our art co-op. :) We need real posts like this.

    1. Thank you Michael from your comment.
      I've always thought my creativity as a gift and it was really difficult to be bashed because of it by some very cruel people. Now I think it tells more about them than it tells about me.

  15. I love these works, they are really beautiful. But I agree with your comment above, when people are cruel it says much more about them than the people they've tormented. I've also been bullied and badly hurt/taken advantage of, and when I was younger had the propensity to love others more than myself/not feel I deserved good treatment, as if I was selfish to want others to treat me with love or decently. But when others treat you badly like that, it is not your fault. You are brave to share such inner thoughts (honestly I'm usually too shy esp. in C.T. but perhaps I shouldn't be), and feelings of shame, but I hope you can feel beautiful and brave in the future, having done such wonderful work and come so far. Your guidance painting is beautiful; a lovely rendition of a swan and then beautiful color wash and watercolor work. Sending you love and hugs, and wishes for future recovery and feeling happy! So glad to get to see your work here on this co-op ^_^

    1. Thank you so much from your comment. For quite some time I had this feeling that I focus solely post my artworks but lately I've started to write stories and experiences behind them whenever it has felt right to do so. Shame and pain are difficult feelings but I personally believe the healing power of creating. Much love strength and light for you too <3